When your relationship isn't bringing you the happiness you thought it would, something has to change. Unfortunately, most of us avoid change, at least the kind that requires us to alter our own behavior, perceptions, and/or belief systems. And that's just the kind of alteration we need if we want to transform a relationship from boring to blissful.
No matter how huge the obstacles in your relationship seem to be, small changes may prove to be the most effective in resolving the basic issues. There are two ways to approach this. You can (1) pick one thing to change that you know your partner would appreciate or (2) modify something that would make you feel better about yourself and/or your relationship. They key is coming up with a change that will be relatively easy to make.The prospect of changing ourselves in order to improve a relationship can launch a surprising level of resistance. You may think, "Why should I be the one to change when he/she is the one who's being difficult?" The answer is quite simple: the only person in the relationship that you have the ability to change is...you. If you could wave a magic wand and elevate your partner to perfection, your relationship would already be perfect.
If you feel that your relationship is hopeless, that nothing you can do will make a difference, then change just one thing: your perception. Instead of viewing your relationship as a mess, see it as a work in progress. Look for evidence that things are changing for the better. Try this for three weeks, and you might be surprised to find that the situation really is changing in positive ways.
No matter how huge the obstacles in your relationship seem to be, small changes may prove to be the most effective in resolving the basic issues. There are two ways to approach this. You can (1) pick one thing to change that you know your partner would appreciate or (2) modify something that would make you feel better about yourself and/or your relationship. They key is coming up with a change that will be relatively easy to make.The prospect of changing ourselves in order to improve a relationship can launch a surprising level of resistance. You may think, "Why should I be the one to change when he/she is the one who's being difficult?" The answer is quite simple: the only person in the relationship that you have the ability to change is...you. If you could wave a magic wand and elevate your partner to perfection, your relationship would already be perfect.
If you feel that your relationship is hopeless, that nothing you can do will make a difference, then change just one thing: your perception. Instead of viewing your relationship as a mess, see it as a work in progress. Look for evidence that things are changing for the better. Try this for three weeks, and you might be surprised to find that the situation really is changing in positive ways.
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